


Gloxinias and Ambrosias

by CynicalRheums



Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluffy Woho, I'm sorry I hurt Wonho in this fic, Internalized Homophobia, Kind of fast-paced, Non-Idol AU, One-Sided Love, Sad Ending, sad wonho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 11:34:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18119996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicalRheums/pseuds/CynicalRheums
Summary: "Gloxinias means love at first sight. Ambrosias, on the other hand, means reciprocated love. It was a love story of their own. "A story of how a man met another man, how he falls in love, how he denies his feelings, and how he realizes it was reciprocated, not just at the way he wanted it to be.





	Gloxinias and Ambrosias

Lee Hoseok clung to all of his emotions and the whirlwind people has grown to call romance, the only things that kept him grounded from the enigma that is Yoo Kihyun. 

It all started when he was seven. 

Hoseok was a scrawny boy with ghstly pale complexion, long limbs, big ears, and small face which made his (not really big) ears stick out even more. He was not really a sight to be seen as a kid, to say the least. The very reason why kids of his age pick on him. The bullying always happens that it has been a constant in his childhood, not that he really cared. 

Obviously, it was not the same for someone else. 

Hoseok can vaguely remember the ringing of the school bell, signaling the end of the class. Their teacher had just left, Ms. Oh, a young woman with kind eyes and warm smile. Hoseok was a smart child. At grade three, he already memorized the multiplication table, Ms. Oh was surprised and delighted as she handed him candies as an incentive. He smiled, he deserved it nonetheless. 

As their teacher left the room, a few boys gathered around him and took his candies from his pocket. Someone pushed him, he fell to the floor and scraped his knees. Everyone was laughing. He remembered not crying. 

"You can't do that! Bullying is not allowed!"

It sounded like a child. Hoseok knows he is one, but he knew that the one who just shouted is younger than him. It must be the timbre. He didn't really care. 

The boys who were gathered around him backed away. They were whispering something. He didn't hear. There were footsteps. They already left. 

Hoseok stared at the small blue sneaker in front of him. It looked expensive, that he knew. He remembered looking upwards to be met by feline eyes, high cheekbones, big cheeks, and a rather sharp jaw for a child. The younger boy smiled, there was a dimple on the top of his cheek. He looked cute and oddly familiar. 

"Hi! I'm Yoo Kihyun, second grade."

The latter extended a hand which Hoseok gladly accepted and helped him to stand with difficulty as the third grader is heavier than the boy in front of him. Hoseok can remember staring at the boy before blinking a few times. He was the principal's son. 

"Hoseok."

He still can remember that the younger boy smelt of baby powder and lavender. 

They became friends when he was nine. 

Hoseok didn't had the chance to see the boy again. He figured the younger's classroom was on the other building since he was a year lower than he is. He never had the courage to cross the distance between the buildings and thank the boy. 

What he didn't expect was that the boy will be the one to cross the distance again. He was on the school canteen, sitting alone on a table meant for six with green apple on hand. He was mindlessly munching on the fruit when a tray was set in front of him. 

He was once again met with brown fox-like eyes. 

"Hi."

"Hello."

Hoseok had a crush on the younger boy when he was fourteen, he never admitted it to himself. 

Kihyun grew as a fine teenager. His cheekbones more prominent, his jaw so sharp that it could cut through glass. He liked photography while Hoseok liked to draw. He also liked to think that they make art together. 

Hoseok remembered sitting with Kihyun under an oak tree, its shade giving their skins a break from the harsh summer heat. 

He remembers leaning further against the tree, sketch pad atop his bent knees, right hand scribbling across the surface while his left hand played with the hem of the younger's shirt. 

He remembers drawing Kihyun's side profile, camera strap on his neck, hands holding the device professionally. He remembers drawing the mole on his upper lip, and the dimples on the top of his cheeks. 

He remembered not showing Kihyun his drawing, keeping it into himself. He was scared, for the moment the younger smiled at him, his eyes turning into crescent moons, he felt his heart skip a beat. 

He was on eleventh grade when he knew he likes boys. 

Hoseok has grown over the years. Gone was the scrawny little boy. At fifteen years old, his muscles has developed faster than guys his age. He was radiant with his pinkish complexion, his shoulders broad, his thighs thick. Everyday, his lockers are filled with various love letters. About a dozen of girls has already confessed to him, as always he politely says thank you. 

He played as the power forward of the school basketball team. He was close with Jooheon, a rookie three years younger than him.

"Number thirteen crossed over number ten, leaving him behind. Four seconds! Lee for a three pointer — Bam! The ball went in! 87 - 85!"

"Shut up, Jooheon."

"But, hyung that was so cool!"

"Did you realize that you also go by the surname 'Lee'?"

"Shi—"

Jooheon was interrupted by a cough. It took him seconds to realize that the sound did not come from him. He turned around. 

"Im Jaebum."

There stood the captain of their opposing team, sweat glistening against his tanned skin. He smiled at Hoseok, he felt his walls crumbling as he smiled back. 

He would be lying if he said they didn't made out on the shower room after everyone has left. 

His best friend knew in twelfth grade. 

Hoseok remembered going on a party. He can vaguely remember doing body shots with a stranger. He remembered downing six shots of tequila. He stopped counting after the seventh. 

He remembered kissing Yoo Kihyun, the latter moaned into the kiss and before pushing Hoseok away, horror etched on his face. He remembered losing his best friend. 

Hoseok was on second year college when they met again. 

He decided to pursue dancing and music production. It was what he wanted. It was what he was good at. 

He remembered dance crew he was in having a gig on a rather expensive bar or club. Hoseok didn't really know. He remembered the feeling of tightness the black harness against his skin produced. He remembered wearing a black jacket suit. 

He remembered bumping into someone backstage. There was a shocking mop of bright red hair. Then there was warm feline eyes. 

"Seok."

"Kihyun."

They kept in touch after that night. 

It was winter. Kihyun, being the coffee freak he was, asked to meet with him on a coffee shop. Hoseok would have enjoyed it if it weren't for the twenty-minute walk in the ankle-deep snow. 

He arrived at the shop at last. It's interior oozed with comfort as it was decorated with leather couches in the shade of pale yellow, beige and brown. The sight was oddly satisfying along with the smell of coffee and pastries. 

He sat on a singular beige couch in front of a wooden table. Across him stood a couch of the lighter shade, still waiting for its occupant. Hoseok shuddered and pulled the sleeves of his sweater over both of his hands before folding them across his chest. 

He can clearly remember the moment his childhood friend opened the door clad in a black trench coat, a navy blue turtle neck underneath. He wondered how Kihyun can pull something like that with his bright red hair. When the latter looked at his way, Hoseok swear that resonating sound of the chimes was nothing compared to the loud beating of his heart. 

Hoseok was twenty-six when Kihyun figured out he loves someone. 

It was Valentines day. Oddly enough, Hoseok can remember walking past dozen shops of flowers and chocolates. He remember seeing a seven year old boy kissing what seems like a nine year old girl on the lips. He remembered cooing at the sight. 

He was used to being single all his life. With random hookups and one night stands, he never really wanted for someone to be a constant in his life. Everyone comes and go. The same way someone he cares for did. 

That's why Hoseok questions himself why he bought a bouquet of red gloxinias and white ambrosias. 

He remembers passing by a flower boutique oddly name 'Oh, it's you'. He remembers hesitating in front of the door before stepping in. He figured he didn't regret a thing as the comforting sound of chimes ring in his ears. Maybe it was because of the big red flowers that stand tall against the window pane. He didn't know.

Hoseok remembers walking towards the red flower and smiling at the sight before moving on another delicate white shrub. 

"What are you so beautiful for?"

He remembers whispering to himself. 

"Gloxinias means love at first sight. Ambrosias, on the other hand, means reciprocated love. It was a love story of their own. "

The old lady behind the counter smiled at him when she saw him staring at the red flower. It was warm and she has kind eyes. Hoseok pondered on the familiarity and mirth that shines in her doe brown eyes. 

"Hoseok dear, you still can recite the multiplication table, can't you?"

Hoseok cannot forget the moment he broke down in tears as the old woman who had been a part of his childhood gave him a gentle hug. 

"Dear, the flowers are free for you."

Hoseok remembers walking towards his apartment with a runny nose and a bouquet of red and white flowers held in his hands. He remembers trying to open the door only to find out it was unlocked. He remembers panicking before he saw a mop of red hair sticking out from his black couch. 

"Hyung, happy valentines."

He remembers staring at the younger. He remembers watching as the latter'd gaze fell on the bouquet of flowers in his hands. 

"Oh."

Kihyun ran to where he stands, hands tugging on the sleeves of his coat excitedly. 

"Who is it, hyung? Who's the lucky girl?"

Hoseok can still hear the sound of his heart shattering but he let out a smile. He's used to it by now. He was already broken long ago. 

"Is she prettier than I am?"

The older stifled a laugh as an image of his dongsaeng in a dress and a wig came to his mind. 

"Hyung.."

The younger whined, visibly annoyed at the older for laughing at him. 

"It depends, Kihyunnie. It depends."

"Can I meet her, hyung?"

"I'm afraid I still haven't said what I feel."

"Hyung, you have to promise me that you will! She'll love you, I just know it."

Hoseok didn't promise. 

When he turned twenty-seven, everything started to fall apart. 

He remembers as the younger fell in love with a girl at first sight. He remembers the two of the dating for nine months. He remembers how Kihyun proposed to a beautiful girl because he was there and he still can remember hearing her say yes. He remembers crying at their vows. He remembers how the younger cried as he kissed his bride. 

With a single glance to the person whom he’d sworn he was so madly in love with, everything was erased from his mind. He didn't want to remember anymore. 

Maybe the gloxinias and ambrosias wasn't meant for him after all.

**Author's Note:**

> One day, he'll meet someone who'll love him better than he did.


End file.
